People love to say, “forgive and forget.” It sounds noble, almost like a badge of honor you earn for being the bigger person. But the truth is, not everyone deserves forgiveness—especially not the people who mistreat someone you love and act like it’s no big deal.

My significant other had a so-called friend who did exactly that. Instead of valuing the bond they shared, this person treated my partner like they were nothing—dismissing their feelings, belittling them, and trying to dictate how they should act. It wasn’t about care or honesty; it was about control and disrespect.

Watching someone you love get treated that way is infuriating. It’s one thing for me to handle mistreatment aimed at myself, but it’s another level entirely when it’s directed at the person who means the world to me. A real friend would never treat them like they were disposable.

And here’s the thing: forgiveness isn’t automatic. It’s earned through accountability, through effort, through change. That “friend” showed none of that. They showed only arrogance—the belief that they could walk all over my partner and still be entitled to a place in their life.

So no, I don’t think they deserve forgiveness. Not from me, and certainly not from my significant other. Because forgiveness without growth just enables the same hurt all over again. Sometimes the best thing you can do is draw a hard boundary, protect the person you love, and move forward without the people who never valued them in the first place.